Kongtale
by MushroomWings
Summary: Legends tell of the Kongs, who were sealed underground by the Tails. Many many years later, a young Tail named Diddy finds out firsthand it's not just myth. A retelling of Undertale with DKC character. Rated T to be on the safe side.
1. Prologue: Diddy, the Fallen Tail

DISCLAIMER: Undertale is the property of Toby Fox and DKC is the property of Nintendo. This was first drafted during a late-night Skype call with two fellow DKC fanfiction writers.

A/N: Hi! Welcome to the story that started out as an AU we had planned. TwinCats and LittleDixieDoodle are just as to blame here as me. Unlike many of my other stories, the characters are in their actual appearances, with only some minor changes to fit with their roles in the story as we saw fit.

I just wanted to point out before the story begins that the difference between Tails and Kongs are that Tails are any living creature with a tail, like Diddy, and a Kong are any living thing that lacks one. They don't necessarily have to be monkeys specifically, as there will surely be other tailless Nintendo characters to fill in the gaps of what I can't with the available DKC characters.

Also, I dare you guys to guess who is taking the role of the first Fallen Tail. I'll stop talking now I promise.

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 _Long ago, two races ruled the Earth together: Tails and Kongs. One day, a terrible war broke out between them, with the Monkeys emerging victorious. They sealed the Kongs underground with a strong spell, warning their descendants to come of the dangers that lay waiting beneath the mountain._

 _Many years later..._

 **Mt. Fox**

 **201X**

XxXxXxXxX

The first thing that came to Diddy was the smell of flowers.

Then his vision returned, and he saw he was laying on a bed of marigolds. He stood, trying to let his eyes adjust as he looked above him.

Wow... he was so far down, wasn't he?

He knew there was no way he would be able to reach the top, especially not if he wanted to reach the surface by nightfall. The only other option was forward, so he made sure everything still worked properly before making his way down the shadowy path that lay before him.

It hadn't been much farther before he found an... interesting... sight.

Dancing somewhat happily was a head on a flower stem. It swayed in a nonexistant breeze, a somewhat happy smile on his face. Diddy raised an eyebrow, and the little flower chose this moment to acknowledge his presence.

"Hi!" it greeted happily. "I'm DK! DK the Planty!"

"Uh... hi?" Diddy responded.

"Say! You're new here, aren't ya?" The plant thing stopped for a moment. "I know! I'll teach you how things work around here!"

Diddy felt weird then, and he saw a small red heart emerge from his body.

"That's your soul! It can get stronger if you gain a lot of LOVE!"

"Uh... what's LOVE?" Diddy stammered. The plant grinned.

"Down here, LOVE is shared through little white... 'friendliness pellets'!" As an example, DK spawned several little white dots. "You want some LOVE, don't ya? If so, please don't hesitate to get as many as you can!"

Diddy stepped forward, barely touching one of the bumps. Almost instantly, it exploded against him, and he suddenly found himself on the ground unable to move, a searing pain ripping through his body. The smile on the plant above him turned malevolent, and he found himself reaching for something, anything, that could help him.

"You _**idiot**_." The once-friendly abomination stressed the word perhaps a little TOO much. "You don't know what's going on here, do you? DIE!"

The remainder of the litle bullets closed in on the monkey. Diddy knew this was it...

But then he felt revitalized. He peeked up above him, only to see the pellets having disappeared. Instead, the maniacal grin on the plant turned into a look of fear and confusion as he looked to the side.

A breath of fire shot out then, knocking the plant away. Diddy sat up them, assuming it to be safe, but jumping as a new voice rang through the darkness.

"Are you all right young one?"

Above him stood a figure cloaked in a white dress. A strange symbol graced the cloth's chest, and the character above appeared fully. She held out a hand, offering a kind smile as well. Diddy looked from her to the hand before carefully taking it.

"Uh... thank you," Diddy responded as he was pulled to his feet. "What is this place? Who are you?"

"Oh, my dear," the new figure murmured."I am afraid you have fallen beneath the surface world. These here are ruins."

Ruins? Did that mean... did that mean this person is...?

"So... does that mean... you're a Kong?" Diddy whispered, visibly shaking.

He'd heard stories of the Kongs, and the events leading up to the war long ago, and like many had been taught to fear what lay underground. Silently, he hoped this one was nicer than the plant abomination had been, and that the magic she'd used to dispose of it would not find its way to his body.

"Well, yes, I am." The person noticed Diddy's body movements and the sudden fear at this realization. She relaxed some, taking his hand between hers. "But I am afraid I am rather docile than most. I never told you my name, did I?" She smiled warmly, and the tension Diddy felt in his body eased. "My name is Wrinkly. I take care of the Ruins. If I you would like it, I can guide you through."

Diddy was silent for a moment, before nodding.


	2. Chapter 1: The Ruins

A/N: This is perhaps THE longest document I've written in years. I think it took like three hours.

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"Wait a moment," Diddy began, as they approached the entrance of the Ruins. "How did you know to be here?"

"I go on walks through the area," Wrinkly responded, suddenly looking sad. "You are not the first Tail to fall down here, so my walks are to see if anyone new has come. It's been quite a while since the last one of your kind."

"Oh." Diddy kept his eyes on the floor, only half-lisening as she explained the mechanics of the puzzle before him.

It took him a little bit to realize she was waiting for him at the now opened door. He approached, flinching when she raised a hand and patted him on the head. She smiled warmly, but it did nothing to calm the fears that came from his new knowledge. Wrinkly noticed his tension and removed her hand from him, instead gesturing for him to follow her. Diddy hesitantly did as asked, emerging into the next room to find it empty of life except for them and some plants.

"This room has a few switches you must trigger to navigate it. They're labeled, so would you please flip them as we go past?" she asked politely. Diddy nodded, appraoching one and pushing it up, doing the same to a couple more they passed by, and they were across the room within minutes. "You're doing well, young one. Please don't give up."

"Ehr... may I ask something?" Diddy began, receiving a nod in return. "You said I wasn't the first of my kind to fall down here. Wh-where are the others? You yourself said these were ruins. Doesn't that mean this place is abandoned? And you being more docile than 'others'?! What does that even mean?! I knew it! Those old legends were true!"

A stillness rang loud through the room, and Diddy suddenly regretted everything. He honestly hadn't meant to explode like he had and so now feared the eerie silence this kind person had retained. He took a few steps back, cowering behind the threshold between the room they had just entered and the room with the labeled switches.

Wrinkly stared coldly at him, her mind returning to the previous Tails that had fallen and were beyond the ruins. Her entire demeanor changed to reflect these thoughts, but she hid it away before he could fear the worst.

"The others have since left the ruins," she began softly. "Despite how it may have sounded, we are a peaceful race unless provoked. I'm sure they are well. Why don't we continue on?"

Diddy nodded as she approached the other end of the new room and gestured to a dummy figure sitting near her.

"Regardless, certain ones that are a common sight can be volatile if approached wrong." The Tail frowned. "They may try to attack you, so it is very important you know how to defend yourself. Try striking a conversation with your opponent. Show it you mean no harm by trying to be friendly. Why not practice on this figure?"

Diddy approached the dummy, waving kindly to it as the red heart emerged once more from his chest. The dummy did nothing but stare back.

"Uh... hi," Diddy said. The dummy turned away, apparently not one for conversation, and the heart returned to within him. Wrinkly clapped softly.

"Wonderful work, child, that was very well done indeed. Come, come! There is another puzzle I want to see if you can solve in the next room!"

The young Tail followed the Kong through the next corridor, suddenly getting apprehended by a small creature. He knelt to it curiously and it blinked at him.

"Hello! You're such a cute little thing!" he said, genuinely intrigued by the critter, who cocked its head to the side and blushed.

It suddenly slunk away, terrified by something behind him. Diddy stood once more, continuing on down the corridor until he came across a platform with many raised spikes.

"Well, this is the puzzle," Wrinkly said, gesturing to the trap before them. Diddy stepped forward to work on it, but she held an arm out in front of him. "Wait. I... thought this would be a good one for you to try, but... now I'm not so sure. Come with me. I'll take you across."

The boy grabbed her sleeve, careful to remember where and how she stepped so as not to make a false move. Once on the other side, he let go and turned back to the puzzle, curious as to how he was supposed to have figured the solution out. He suddenly became very glad she had guided him across.

"That... was an interesting contraption," he said flatly as they began walking once more.

"Yes... Perhaps puzzles are a little too dangerous for now." She paused and looked at him. "If you wouldn't mind, could you please walk to the end of the room by yourself? I'm so sorry about this."

She began walking forward before Diddy ever realized what she had said. He tried to turn to catch up, but her stride was far too quick and he fell to his face. When he sat up, she was no where in sight. The room itself was pretty long, but also fairly barren save for some rather large growths of vines. When he reached the end, which took several minutes, Wrinkly emerged from one of the overgrowths.

"Oh, dear, I'm so sorry about that," she murmured.

"What was that about?" Diddy asked.

"Well, I-I'm afraid I have some business to attend to, so you'll be on your own for a bit. The only thing I ask of you is to remain here for the time being. But, if you need to reach me," She produced a small brick from the pouch sitting on her side and handed it to him," do not hesitate to call me on this. Please be good, OK?"

Diddy nodded, and she walked off. He examined the brick, finding it to be an very old model of a cell phone. How he was supposed to make calls on this, he wasn't entirely sure, but he held no intentions on staying put. As soon as he had left the doorway, the brick rang, signaling Wrinkly was aware of him leaving. He assured her he had not, and looked around the new room.

Directly near him was another of those creatures from earlier, and to his other side was a strange orb-like object. He touched it, and all feelings of tiredness vanished. Diddy was then face with the dilemma of which way to go, as a path sat on either side of him. He went for the path that was nearest to the entrance, and was rewarded with the sights of what looked like sweets. The sign said to take only one, but he only just then realized how hungry he was, and grabbed a couple, toppling the bowl over.

The candies proved helpful. As he treked through the room, several enemies attacked him and made the feeling that had come about after DK's attacks had hurt him return. He popped on in his mouth after he reached the other end, feeling a lot better instantly. The next room brought him an interesting dilemma in the form of cracks litering the floor. He attempted to tread lightly, but was ultimately sent through the floor, landing squarely on his rump.

Diddy noticed a door nearby and went through it, hoping it would lead to beyond the cracks. His assumption was right, and he entered the next room only to be face with a new puzzle. Wrinkly called him several times in the duration of solving it with some very odd questions, but ultimatley didn't seem to bother him after that.

The next couple of puzzles were simple upon realizing the answer. A few more crack puzzles (one of with rewarded him with a small bow) and a puzzle similar to the one with the caretaker's odd questions (inwhich he has to persuade a stone to stay on the switch at least until he crossed), and he was met with a blockade in the path. Sitting on a pile of leaves was a partially-transparent figure wearing what looked to be a blue coat.

"Excuse me?" Diddy said softly. No response. Diddy began nudging, which seemed to make the figure jump.

"Wh-what? I..." the figure started, his form becoming more solid. "I'm sorry..."

"I-it's fine. I didn't realize you were sleeping. Do you live in the ruins?"

"N-no, no one really does. I come every now and then to be alone."

"Oh.. Eh, if I may ask, weren't you almost transparent a moment ago? How are you solid-looking now?"

"I-it's a soul power thing," the Kong replied. "All of us have them. Mine gives me ghost like properties. You were trying to pass through here, right? Let me get out of your way..."

Diddy thanked the new friend and went on his merry way, solving several more puzzles before coming across a small dagger. He picked it up and examined it, finding it to be of the kind that was a toy and the 'blade' could be pushed into the hilt. He continued down the other path he had seen before finding the toy, coming into a wide clearing. A voice could be heard as he walked forward.

"Oh no, no, no... I took much longer than I intended to. I hope they're all right..." Wrinkly came into view then, spotting the young Tail. "Dearie, how did you manage to get here? You aren't hurt, are you? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left you behind like that. I was just trying to surprise you."

"I'm fine, I promise," Diddy assured. "The puzzles weren't really all that hard."

"Well, if you're sure, please come along. I have something to show you."

Diddy followed her into the building down the path, stopping mometarily at the strange orb that appeared to be waiting patiently for him near the entrance. Touching the orb helped bring back what HP the candy had not, but it overall wasn't much when he stopped to think about it. Still, it was better he gain back to what he could now, seeing as he might have to fight something later.

With that done, he made his way inside. He took in the surroundings, recognizing it as nothing but a quaint little home. A staircase seeming to lead downward sat behind Wrinkly, who was waiting in what he could assume was a foyer of sorts. It was then he noticed a pleasant aroma in the air, and he could feel his mouth start to water.

"I smell food," the Tail said bluntly, placing a hand on his stomach.

"Yes, it's a coconut and banana pie," she replied smiling. "I figured it was OK to have something like that for a celebration, instead of something like a honey casserole, at least for tonight."

"Both things sound really good right now, to be honest." Diddy only became vaguely aware that he was drooling at the thought once Wrinkly had signaled him down a hallway.

They stopped in front of a door, which he was prompted to open. The door swung opened to reveal a cozy bedroom, a bed on one side with a wooden wardrobe sitting beside it. Diddy looked to the Kong, who was smiling warmly. The smile disappeared once a faint scent of smoke hit the air.

"Uhm... please get settled in, OK?" she said before running off in the other direction.

Diddy entered the room slowly, taking in the contents. He removed his shoes and sat on the pale blue sheets, only realizing now how tired he was. His mind raced a thousand miles a minute, over everything that had happened over the day. He still needed to find a way out. Maybe the Kongs beyond the doors could help him find a way out. He laid down, absent-mindedly fiddling with one of the odd stuffed toys sitting against the wall near the bed.

It wasn't until Diddy heard the door shutting that he realized he'd fallen asleep. He sat up, noticing someone had pulled the bedspread up to cover him. He put the oddly-shaped toy back against the wall once he realized he was holding on to it and got off the bed. He wandered blindly around the room until he found a lightswitch and flicked it, lighting up the dark and making him blink rapidly.

He noticed a plate sitting on a nearby nightstand and walked to it. A delicious slice of the pie sat on the plate, almost teasing him to eat it, leading him to believe it had been Wrinkly who had been in the room. Diddy sat on the floor and calmly ate a portion of the pie. He looked down at the half that remained sadly. He was greatful for the hospitality, but he could not stay. He had just been exploring Mt. Fox, trying to see if the rumors and legends were true. It wasn't his fault there was overgrowth in the area.

He stood to his feet, noting that he would have to wrap the dessert in something in order to take it with him, and located his shoes on the opposite side of the room. He slipped into them, made sure the bed was properly made, and walked to the door. He looked back silently, yearning to stay but fighting against his wishes.

"Oh, you're awake!" Diddy looked up as he neared the staircase and the entrance to the house, nearly bumping into Wrinkly. "I'm very sorry. Had I known you would have woken up soon, I would have just waited."

"It's fine," the Tail replied. "I feel much better now. Thank you."

"Did I give you too much?" she asked, looking at what was still left.

"I could probably have eaten it, but I think I'll save it for later." He smiled at her, trying to put off what he was aching to ask, and hurried off to find something to place it in.

He scoured the kitchen for a good five minutes before finding some plastic wrap. The pie would surely be squished before he could eat it again, but he knew it would still taste the same. He was actually half-tempted to cut off another slice of the pie and add it to his excess portion, but he didn't want to linger. With the pie safely wrapped and in his backpack, he hurried off in search for his new friend.

Diddy found her in the den standing near a bookcase, flipping half-heartedly through a book with a happy little bee on the front. She looked up upon hearing him approach and smiled gently.

"Whatcha reading?" he asked.

"It's a book on Zinger facts," Wrinkly responded. "I was hoping to see if you liked them and then let you read it."

"Maybe not tonight."

"That is quite all right. It's just... it's really nice to have someone here. I... don't receive visitors that often. You're free to read any of these books any time. I used to be a teacher, so it always makes me happy when I can pass along any bit of knowledge to someone."

Oh, this was going to hurt.

"I-if you don't mind..." Diddy bit his lower lip as she looked at him. How was he supposed to put this? "Um... h-how do I exit here?"

The only sound that was present then was Wrinkly slamming the book shut. He almost immediately recognized the on her face as the expression as the one she had gained when he asked about the other fallen Tails. Sheopened her mouth to speak but stopped, closing and pressing it into a thin line.

"Wh-what do you mean?" she stuttered after the silence raged for several minutes, her fingers digging into the book's cover. "Why would you want to leave here?"

"I want to go home," Diddy replied and instantly regretted it.

"Th-this is your home now! Don't be silly, dearie!"

"I want to go home," he continued, a little less hesitant.

"I'm sorry, I... I have something I need to do."

Wrinkly quickly placed the book back on the shelf and composed herself before hurrying in the direction of the staircase and descending them. Diddy followed her, hoping she wasn't doing what he suspected. Instead, he found her a little ways down a corridor, her back to him as she braced herself for what was to come.

"Wrinkly, I-"

"You said you want to go... 'home'... right?" He didn't like the way she said the word at all. "Down this path lies the exit you sought. It's tightly sealed, so only those of us on the inside can ever go through."

"Uh... um... listen, I-I'm really sorry about all this. I'm not ungrateful, really! It was by complete accident I even fell down here! I-"

"I'm going to destroy it."


	3. Chapter 2: Prologue's End

"What! Why would you do that?!" Diddy shouted.

"To keep you from leaving," Wrinkly replied simply, her tone bitter and full of anger. "Neither of us will ever leave here. Go to your room, child." The young Tail didn't move. He followed her as she continued down the corridor. "Do you understand? You cannot go outside. If you do, they... Cranky... he'll... he'll kill you, just like he did to the others."

Diddy suddenly felt his entire nbody go numb. So his suspicions on the fates of the other tails had been right all along.

"Wrinkly, I-"

"No," she interrupted, her voice harsh. "I've seen it too many times already. Everyone who falls down here meets the same fate. They come. They leave. They die. Every time I think I can save someone, they leave the safety of the ruins. I just want to keep you safe! This is for your own good! Don't try to stop me, do you understand?" She continued down the corridor at a frenzied pace, the young Tail somehow managing to keep up with her. She stopped abruptly, turning to face him. "What do you think you're doing?! This is the last time I will tell you! Go back upstairs!"

"I... I won't!" Diddy replied, pursuing her up to the aforementioned door. "Don't I have the same right to find my way out that they did?!"

An eerie silence came over them. Wrinkly kept her attention to the door, not even bothering to look at him now.

"You're just like all the rest. All of them worried about nothing but finding their way back. I could have taken care of them, I could have made this their home. But none of them wanted to stay." She turned around, snapping her fingers to materialize a blue flame in one hand. "If you must insist on leaving, I advise you to show me that you can defend yourself from those who will hunt you down. Go on. Prove yourself."

The red heart emerged once more from Diddy, and he knew it was serious this time. He honestly didn't want to hurt anybody, even if they were trying to hurt him.

"I don't want to fight you," he said calmly, being rewarded with several lines of blue fireballs for his efforts.

Wrinkly said nothing, even after he prodded her a few more times. The flames kept coming at him, essentially begging that he stay, and Diddy soon noticed his HP was running dangerously low. Still he fought on, avoiding as much as he could, until he noticed the fires were just dodging him instead of the other way around like it should have been. He looked to her face then, seeing a saddened expression, and realized that now she wasn't even trying to harm him.

"...What's wrong?" Diddy asked, not even moving from where he stood now as the flames went around him. Her eyes were cast to the floor.

"It's pathetic, isn't it?" she murmured, slinking down as the small heart returned to him. "I can't even save one of you. I know you want to go home, dear. I'm sorry... I understand your desires. I know you probably wouldn't be happy here once you got used to it. I'm just so afraid. I'm so sorry."

"Don't be." Wrinkly looked at him to see that he had joined her there. He held his arms out for a hug, a reassuring smile on his face. "I don't know what's going to come at me past the doors, but I know I'll make it."

She looked at him for a moment before accepting the embrace. She patted his head, not wanting to let go for fear of the danger awaiting him. It seemed like forever until they finally broke apart and stood back up.

"Please be safe."

Diddy nodded, and watched her leave without a word. Soon even the echoing of her footsteps was gone, and he was left in dead silence. He took a minute to prepare himself for what lay beyond the door, replenishing part of his HP with a piece of sweets he had forgotten that he had. Once he was done, he took a deep breath and pushed the doors opened.

He found himself in a long hallway with darkness at the end. At the end, amidst the semi-darkness, was DK the Planty.

"Aren't you just the cleverist little shit?" the abomination sneered. "Why, I'd bet you think you're the smartest Tail alive, huh?"

"I'm really not in the mood, man," Diddy groaned, his hands clenching into fists.

"Kid, listen." DK got as close to Diddy as he could. "In this world, it's kill or be killed! Just because you were able to go about on your own terms doesn't mean there won't come a time where you would be able to do so." He laughed. "I bet you feel like the best person ever."

Diddy would very much disagree with that.

"DK, come on." The Tail rubbed his temple. "Not everyone has to be as murder-obsessed as you, you know."

"I'm just saying," DK said in a sing-songy voice, swaying daintly from side to side. "Sometimes you'll have to kill. There's no fixing that. Maybe it'll be out of frustration of having to try and try sparing over a million times and not get anywhere with the fight, or maybe it will be out of morbid curiosity, just to see what feeling it would bring."

"Really, DK?"

"Or maybe you could give up entirely and let me obtain the power needed to control this filthy world!"

"Why?" Diddy shouted back. "What could you possibly be able to do with a power even you don't fully understand?"Mother Nature's nightmare turned as terrifying as it had when it tried to kill him earlier.

"I am the prince of this world's future! Oh, but my plan isn't regicide. Have no fear. It's much better than that."

The plant monster cackled evily and disappeared, leaving Diddy to ponder the words he'd spoken.

DK had been right. There would more than likely come a time where he would need to kill, but the gods be damned if he didn't at least try to find a way to spare them first. For now, he would simply try to be the kindest he could.

This thought filling him with determination, he headed towards the outer door and out beyond the ruins.


	4. Chapter 3: The Sisters of Snow

A snow-filled forest wasn't what Diddy expected once he stepped out of the ruins, but he was just happy to see something other than stone for a change.

Carefully he walked the path between the trees, becoming alert when a second noise that sounded like the crunching of snow beneath feet. It didn't really alarm him too much-this was a form of society after all, wasn't it?-until he heard a snapping sound. He turned around to see a stick he had stepped over was broken into pieces. He was on guard now, prepared to flee or dodge the moment anything tried to pounce.

Slowly he continued on. It wasn't until he came across a bridge and heard the footsteps get closer before stopping that he realized he was royally fucked. He could hear the sound of breathing behind him, and felt himself shaking.

"Tail," a dark voice breathed. "Don't you know how to greet a new friend? Turn around and shake my hand."

Diddy squeezed his eyes shut and turned around, immediately finding the hand offered to him. He felt a shock go through his arm and he recoiled. Light giggles filled his hearing and he opened his eyes to find a female Kong around his height with a blonde ponytail holding her stomach and raising the hand he had shaken. She couldn't have produced that voice, could she?

"The old shock buzzer!" she snorted. "Oh come on, don't be a stick in the mud. I meant no harm. You're a Tail, though, right? The name's Dixie!"

"D-Dixie," Diddy murmured.

"Yep! I'm actually supposed to be at my station right now, but I wanted to go for a walk instead, you know? It gets boring, and I don't really care about capturing people." Dixie put the buzzer into her jacket pocket and grinned, slinging an arm around his shoulders and pulling him in closer. "But my sis, Tiny? She's a Tail hunting lunatic! Oh, that's actually her over there! Come with me!"

"Wha-hey!" Dixie was forcibly shoving him across the bridge and into a clearing.

"Quick, behind that convient chest!" She pointed to the object in question and Diddy scurried into place.

"Dixie! Are you slacking off again?!" a new voice made its presence known, and he briefly wondered if he had been spotted.

"Maybe. Why?" Dixie replied, earning her a growl from the other Kong.

"You slack off all the time! Even when there is nothing to slack off of!" The sound of a foot tapping impatiently echoed to him. "You're so lazy, Dixie! What are you even doing this time around?"

"I've just been checking out this chest. It's a really big one, isn't it?" Diddy felt his body tense up, silently hoping the other sister didn't come to have a looksee.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS, DIX?!"

"Nope, I'm just regular Dix." Tiny groaned very audibly.

"I don't have time for your shenaningans, dear sister!" she said, stomping her foot. "What happens if a Tail comes through here?! You know how much being the one to capture the next one means to me! It has to be me, Dixie. I can't let it be anyone else."

"I know, Tiny," Dixie replied. "You'll be popular, don't worry, and a Royal Guard to boot. Hey, maybe the chest will help you!"

"Really?! You're not being helpful! You get less and less helpful each day!"

"I guess you could say I'm a bag of Dix-ie!"

Tiny's groan was even louder this time, and Diddy didn't really blame her.

"I'M GETTING TIRED OF YOUR SHITTY JOKES!"

"You're smiling, though! You liked it!"

"I did, and I hate myself for it!" Diddy peeked out from behind the chest in time to see two blonde pigtails disappearing behind some trees. "I'm getting back to my obstacles. Try to get at least something done today, please, Dixie?"

A few moments passed before Dixie motioned the boy forward.

"That was... interesting," Diddy murmured.

"Yeah, that's my sis for ya," Dixie replied. "You should get going, kid. She might come back, and it probably won't be a pretty sight when she does."

"Is she that powerful?"

"Only when she gets tired of my jokes." Diddy rolled his eyes and began to walk away when she grabbed the color of his shirts. "Wait a moment, kid. I've... got something to ask of you. Ti's been pretty upset lately, so... could you maybe... show yourself to her? Just momentarily? She's mostly harmless, so it's no worry. She's just never seen someone with a tail before, so I know this would just tickle her to death."

"Ehrm... sure, Dixie." Diddy gave her a half-smile, unsure of the favor he was doing.

"Thanks, kid. It means a lot to both of us."


	5. Chapter 4: Cold as Ice

A/N: From about this point on, there will be characters from other Nintendo games making cameos! Try to see if you can identify who is who, and there will be a list at the very end of the story to say for fact which character is which.

XxXxXxXxX

Diddy continued down the path, meeting another of the little orbs and using it to restore himself. He sighed to himself and stretched, curiosity peaked at the fork in the road. He noticed a small box sitting at the path straight ahead. He walked towards it, opening it to find a small glove sitting inside. He pulled it out, and stuffed it into the bag.

While doing so, he saw the pie and the events in the Ruins came back to him. He decided to place the pie in the box, if only to prevent himself from the guilt-tripping once more. And who knows? Maybe it'd become useful at some point.

Diddy continued down the road until he came across Dixie and her sister Tiny. The sister was much taller, but held the air of the younger sibling with her long blonde twin tails similar to Dixie's own single one. The two seemed to be having a conversation, the younger sister seeming very enthusiastic compared to how they were a few minutes prior. Dixie seemed to be pretty invested, smiling and nodding along.

"So, anyway," Tiny said, barely restraining her giggles, "as I was saying about Kalypso-"

The crunching of the ice and snow beneath his feet seemed to alert them to his presence. Tiny seemed to be staring right at him, stuttering and flailing her arms. Dixie looked to him too, grinning all the while.

"DIXIE!" Tiny shouted, grabbing her sister by her hoodie and shaking her. "DIXIEDIXIEDIXIEDIXIE! Oh-oh my god! That... Is that...!" She leaned in close to Dixie, as if saying her thoughts would offend Diddy. "...A... a Tail?!"

"Nah, I think that's a tree trunk," Dixie said, pointing past Diddy to a tree that looked as if it had been ripped mercilessly.

"Oh..." Tiny looked sad, until Dixie pointed straight at Diddy.

"But what's that there? Standing next to it."

"Hi," Diddy said with a small wave and smile when Tiny looked at him.

"OH. MY. GOD!" Tiny shrieked. "Is... Dixie, is that a Tail?"

"Yes," Dixie responded.

"I DID IT!" Tiny raised her arms in the air and spun around in a gleeful dance. "Dixie! I caught a Tail! Kalypso is gonna... I'll..." She stopped twirling, and pressed her hands to her cheeks. "I'll be so popular! Ahhhh!" She cleared her throat, calming herself momentarily. "Tail! I am afraid this is the end of the line for you! You shall not venture past here! I, the wonderful Tiny, will make sure of it! I will make sure you are delivered straight to the king himself! And then you'll... well, I'm not entirely sure.

"Probably death," Diddy murmured, but neither of the girls seemed to hear it.

"I'm sure the king will make sure he's dealt with," Dixie added.

"Of course he will, dear sister!" Tiny said. "In any case, be warned that if you decide to continue on, you will be faced with no mercy!"

She turned on her heels and dashed off to alert her superiors, or probably to set up some traps. Probably both. Both Diddy and Dixie stared after her for a few minutes, before the latter turned to the former.

"That went well, I think."

"Do you think she's satisfied just seeing me?" Diddy asked. "She seemed pretty intent on catching me." Dixie waved him off.

"Don't worry about it. Like I said, she's mostly harmless. I'll keep and eye out for you, though, just to make sure."

Dixie began to walk off after her sister. Diddy continued onward too, only stopping to investigate an oddly-shaped shack that said it was a sentry stand. The sign also stated it was Tiny's. Shaking his head, he continued on. It was a quaint little walk, but he stopped once he saw the movement behind another stand. The head of a blue, swordfish-like Kong poked out from below the counter, its eyes shifting around.

"Is... is something there?" they asked, pausing once. It repeated louder, yet they didn't seem satisfied with the results. "...Did I imagine it?"

Diddy waited until they sat back down and carefully took a few more steps forward. Something-ice, snow, stick, whatever-crunched underneath him, and the swordfish's head popped back up instantly.

The little soul resonated out of Diddy as the guard initiated a battle. He managed to stand still enough to get them questioning his location, but stood and breathed evenly to ensure proper balance. He decided to try to check their stats:

ENGUARDE. ATK 10. DEF 9. ENTHRALLED BY MOVEMENT

Diddy realized he wasted precious time by doing this, as Enguarde lifted both hands, their eyes glowing. They mouthed the words 'Don't. Move.', and Diddy felt a chill run up his spine. Still, he refrained from movement, not wanting to know what would happen if he did, until Enguarde lowered their hands.

"If you're a Kong, then you'd be safe," they said. "You wouldn't need to fear moving. But if you're a Tail..."

Diddy moved as fast as his legs could carry him up to Enguarde, and reached a hand up to the fin adorning his head. Gently he stroked and scratch it, earning a delighted yet confused response from his adversary. The same feeling overcame Diddy once more, and he backed away slowly. Enguarde sat on the counter of the stand, hugging themself.

"What... what did that?" they murmured. "Wh-whatever it was didn't move... I'm gonna... I'm..."

They dove behind the counter, allowing Diddy ample time to escape.

The young Tail continued down the road still, eventually coming across a snowman wearing a tophat and a light purple scarf. The snowman seemed angry, and when prompted, Diddy had taken a piece of them to carry around. This seemed to cheer them up, but in truth, Diddy just shoved the piece into the box with the pie. Soon enough, he once more came across a pair of familiar sisters.

"Dixie, really?! MUST you make shitty puns about the Tail?" Tiny groaned.

"Aww, come on, sis, stop grabbin' them at the TAIL," Dixie snickered. Diddy facepalmed, gaining their attention. "Hey, speak of the devil!"

"So you've finally decided to come try some of my puzzles, hm?" Tiny laughed mercilessly, but it came out to the others more of giggles. "Well then, let me explain, dear Tail. This is an invisible maze. The catch is that you must go through the entire thing without hitting the spiked path. If you do, not only will you hurt yourself, you'll also gain an electric shock from this little contraption!" She pulled out a small necklace. "Quite a... shocking... piece of fashion, if I do say so myself! Ehehehe!"

"I'm so proud." Tiny shoved her hand over Dixie's mouth.

"Well? Start traversing if you dare!"

Diddy inched closer slowly, but his foot hit one of the invisible panels that would cause harm. Tiny suddenly seemed frayed as the shock went through her body and not his.

"What did you do, Dixie?!" Tiny shouted. "Did you sabotage this?!"

"Ti, I think he needs to wear the necklace," Dixie responded.

"Ah! Good point, dear sister!" Tiny walked through the snow, creating a path that was very obviously the right one to take. Before he realized it, she was standing right in front of him, draping the necklace over his head before making her way back. "Now try passing! If you dare!"

Diddy stared at the path before him incredulously. Did... did that really just happen? Did she even realize?! He looked to Dixie, who just shrugged with a sheepish look on her face. He took one step cautiously, then another, and before he knew it, he was standing next to the girls.

"What! How'd you get through it so eaily?!" Tiny shouted, genuinely shcoked. "Ah, so be it! There's a few more puzzles that lay in wait, and none of them shall be as easy! Dixie herself designed it!"

Tiny ran off then, laughing. Diddy looked to Dixie questioningly.

"Thanks for making her happy, man," she said, pucnhing him in the arm playfully. "She seems to be enjoying herself."

"Ehr, yeah, sure, no problem," Diddy murmured back.

"Oh, hey, did you happen to notice her outfit?" The ponytail'd Kong grinned. "Got invited to a costume party a while back, so we made it together. She won't stay out of it no matter what. But what can you do? She seems to be enjoying it. Isn't she awesome?"

Diddy just nodded and continued on. It felt like eternity before there was finally another break in the trees. He could see what looked to be some weird bear sitting next to what looked like the mini shops you'd find in the malls above ground. The bear looked upset, but then again, you would be too if you worked in a snowy place and wore only yellow shorts.

"Oh dear," they said, not even noticing as he approached. "Why won't these sell?

"Yeah!" A red bird suddenly popped out from the backpack slung across the bear's shoulders, apparently the source of the new voice. "You'd think people would enjoy a nice baked honey bread in such weather." The bear only sighed and looked down, but the crunching of snow beneath Diddy's feet made them look back up.

"Hello!" Diddy said. "You said you were selling honey bread?"

"Oh!" The bear jumped up and stepped behind the counter of the stand. "Yes, yes! Would you like to buy some? They're only fifteen coins per loaf!"

"Yes please!" Diddy reached into one of his pockets and pulled out some coins, counting out a few groups. "Would you mind if I go ahead and get four, please?"

"Not a problem at all!" the bird responded as their bear companion wrapped up the bread.

"Here you are!" the bear said, handing it out to him. "Please have a nice day!"

"Thanks!" Diddy said as he took the items and put three in his bag. "You too!"

The young Tail continued on their walk, munching on one of the breads as they went. It was actually pretty good, if he was being completely honest, and it made him realize just how hungry he had gotten. Absentmindedly, he wondered how long he'd been gone, both from the surface and from the Ruins. The thoughts got the better of him, and he didn't realize where he was stepping until he managed to kick a snowball that had been just sitting there. It tripped him up, and he fell flat on his face. He pushed himself up, only to find it under his calf slowly diminishing in size.

Curious, he pushed the snowball again. it slid across the grass, bumping against some of the rockier areas, and disppeared around the corner, from what he could see where he lay, a purple flag appeared. Quickly, he got up and examined it. It had a note and two coins attached to it. The note read:

PURPLE - DESPITE EVERYTHING, YOU TOOK NOTE OF THE GAME AND ACHEIVED "BALL"'S FINISH. YOU HAVE BEEN AWARDED TWO COINS.

"Cool." Diddy pocketed both the note and the money and continued walking on, coming upon the girls once more.

"Ah! Tail!" Tiny proclaimed as Diddy shoved the last of the first loaf of bread into his mouth. "Let's hope you're ready for the puzzle Dixie has laid down for you!"

It seemed to be only then that Tiny noticed Dixie's puzzle. All that lay on the ground was a single sheet of paper. Dixie snickered.

"DIXIE!" Tiny screamed. "Where's your puzzle?!"

"It's right there," Dixie said, gesturing to the paper. Tiny gave her a look. "Hey, there's no way he's gonna be able to do it."

Diddy walked up to the paper and picked it up. He recognized it as a wordsearch, but it seemed to have simple words and a few gibberish-or Kong-language-words as well. He stuffed the paper into his pocket and continued forward.

"Dixie! Are you kidding me!" Tiny shouted, grabbing her pigtails in frustration. "That did nothing!"

"Oh, whoops," Dixie shrugged. "Sorry. I knew I should have used today's crossword puzzle."

"What? Don't be naive! Word searches are harder!"

"Nah, fam. It's jsut a word scramble. Besides, you're not five anymore!"

"WHAT?!" They seemed to remember Diddy then, and Tiny turned to him. "Tail! Which do you think is harder? Wordsearches, or crossowords?"

"Crosswords, obviously. In wordsearches, the words are given, you just have to find them," Diddy explained. "Crosswords make you think of the word itself. Now a word puzzle where you would have to put the words in a crossword and then find them in the wordsearch would be interesting!"

"Oh, god, that WOULD be terrifying," Dixie said.

"Oh, good point," Tiny said. "Do they have something like that on the surface?"

"Not really, but shouldn't you getting your next puzzle ready for me?" Diddy asked. Tiny jumped.

"Oh snap! You're right! I'm off, Tail!" She scurried away.


	6. Chapter 5: Something Off

Diddy kept going for what seemed like a while. Eventually, he came across a little table. Odd enoug, sure, but sitting atop it was a note and a plate of dessert. He picked up the note, curious:

TAIL! PLEASE ENJOY THIS BANANA PUDDING. IT WAS METICULOUSLY BAKED WITH CARE. IT'S NOT A TRAP TO KEEP YOU FROM PROGRESSING! I PROMISE.

EHEHEHEHE!

TINY

Diddy shook his head, but wasn't one to give up free food. He attempted to pick it up, but found that the plate and the table were frozen together. He tried picking up the spoon that lay next to it, but found that it too was stuck. He sighed, feeling defeated, and carried on until he found his path blocked. OK, now he was mad.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed his step may have unconvered something. Behind him, in a raised pile of snow, his footprint showed a dark spot. He continued brushing the snow out of the way, only to realize it was map of his current area. He studied it, and took note of a giant red X marking a spot near a cluster of trees. Curiously, he walked up to the cluster and dug around until he found a lever, and pulled it, hearing a click.

Intending to investigate, the young Tail made his way back to the path. On the way, a snek slithered up to him. Diddy knelt down to it, only for it to raise to its full height... about five feet from the ground.

Diddy could see now that the snek was wearing armor, and the symbol on it seemed very familiar. But from where? The thought disappeared from his mind when the little red heart reappeared as the snake initiated battle. He sighed once more, wondering if he hit the glowing orb he saw around Tiny's banana pudding.

ACTCHECK

RATTLY

ATK 5 DEF 6

A ROYAL GUARDSMEN WHO ENJOYS PETS

Diddy smiled.

About twenty minutes later, Rattly had retracted his neck back to its previous state as the little red heart returned to Diddy. The Tail was honeslty still in hysterics as he made a break for the orb near the banana pudding, and then the now unblocked area. Who would have thought a snake could stretch like that, and become like a puppy dog with just a few pets?

The good mood was soon over as two hooded figures were quickly crossing the bridge to him. He stopped, hoping to not be noticed, and it seemed as if the Kongs were going to ignore him until one of them, the longer one, stopped and sniffed the air.

"There's... an odd smell around here," they said, causing the shorter to stop. "Do you smell it, Winky?"

"I do, actually," the shorter one, Winky, responded. "It's not really one I've ever smelt before."

Diddy saw that they weren't looking, and quickly stuffed his tail back into his pants. He had only just managed to get it done by the time the taller one turned around to him, and both threw their hoods down and the heart returned out.

"Identify yourself!"

From what he could tell, the bigger of the two was a bird, white and black feathers peeking out at them. The smaller was a frog, their face green and a brownish-red. They both had pale grey eyes that darted around, looking for the source of the smell. Diddy silently hoped neither of them had interacted with a Tail before, and so, took a cautious step forward to check their stats. He did the frog first:

WINKY

ATK 5 DEF 4

BEST FRIENDS WITH EXPRESSO

A clawed hand and a leg suddenly swiped out at him. He han't managed to dodge them, but didn't stop to think about maybe replenishing the health bar that seemed to rapidly deplete each time they attacked. Quickly he checked the other:

EXPRESSO

ATK 5 DEF 4

BEST FRIENDS WITH WINKY

The next attack hit Diddy hard. It was then he realized just how low his HP had gotten. The little heart in front of him broke into a thousand pieces, and everything went black.

The blackness held him still, brought back all the fear he'd had when he first encountered DK. This was it. He was never going home. Somewhere in the darkness, he cried. The sobs in his mind rang and rang until a voice called to him. He couldn't hear what they said at first, but it sounded like it was speaking to him.

 _ **Our fate rests with you! [REDACTED]! Please! You MUST stay determined!**_

Something resonated in the darkness. He felt some sort of force open his eyes for him, only for him to find the false-sky of the cave above him. Beneath him, he felt the snow, and off to the side, he saw a table with a plate sitting in wait.

Wh... what?

Diddy sat up. Behind him, he could feel the warmth of the orb pulsating. Did he really will himself back in time? How was that even possible? And that voice... He didn't hear the name it called, but what did it and the orb play in all this? Regardless, he slapped himself for not keeping better track of his health. He knew he would have to face Winky and Expresso again, and slowly made his way back to the area he'd encountered the two in, trying to think of what he could do to win the battle without harming them.

It was in the middle of the two guards' third attack that an idea struck him. There were monkey Kongs, right? Surely Dixie and Tiny were not the only ones of their kinds out here. Maybe all he needed to do was let the two sniff him. He pulled his sleeves up and struck his hands out to the two like he was attacking, but instead, purposely missed. Expresso and Winky both caught the smell curiously, and realized their mistake within a few minutes.

"We are so sorry!" Winky stammered. "We didn't mean... In passing it..."

"It's fine!" Diddy said.

"But what in the Underground are you doing so far out here?" Expresso asked. "These are areas you would normally only find sentries, guards, and the rare Tail!"

"I-I got lost. I'm sorry. I'll be heading back to town now!"

With a wave, Diddy was gone.

It wasn't long before he found a pathway blocked by a small puzzle, which he quickly solved. Past the barrier, he saw Tiny, who turned upon hearing footsteps.

"Oh! Tail!" she called out. "How did you like my trap earlier? Did you happen to leave me any?"

"Oh, I... I ate some of it," Diddy said, clearly lying through his teeth. "I could hardly finish it. I think there's still some left. It was pretty good."

"Really?" TIny's face seemed to brighten. "Wow. No one's... ever enjoyed my food before. Even Dixie doesn't, and she eats the most horrid of things! Thank you."

Oh good. Now he felt bad that he actually hadn't.

Another puzzle lay in wait up ahead, and Tiny tried to help him with it. Most of help consisted of her telling him stories about Dixie and how lazy she was, but at least it kept him happy from the half-hour it took him to solve it. Tiny tried explaining that she had just been trying to making it more interesting by rearranging it. She was impressed by his determination to solve it. Past this barrier was Dixie, who had watched the whole thing.

"Oh, hey, good job!" she said. "I was wondering if you would be able to do it without me. Didn't make me any different if you did, though."

Diddy shook his head, merely tossing her a glare.


	7. Chapter 6: Snowden Town

It was thankfully a little while longer before he reached the girls again. He had eaten one of his items along the way, as it looked like there would not be another of those orbs for a while yet. The next puzzle he had found the girls at had some sort of greyscale checkerboard attached to it. Tiny and Dixie were conversing as usual, when Tiny noticed him.

The instructions for this one seemed simple enough: the machine standing next to Tiny would randomly generate a color-tile puzzle that had never been seen before, with each color coordinating a certain aspect. Some made sense, some didn't, but regardless, the puzzle that appeared when Tiny flipped the switch was hilarious.

It was literally one he could walk right through without consequence.

The hilarity of this seemed lost on Tiny, as she ran off cackling evily as the puzzle spawned. Diddy barely made it across, he was laughing so hard, and Dixie had to save the poor boy from choking on his own spit.

Some more puzzles hindered his way, one of which Tiny immediately called off, her reasoning being that this task, which included spikes, flames, and even a small tailless fox hanging by its waist, was possibly too easy for him. So after walking what felt to be several more hours, he finally happened across another of the orbs. Quickly, he touched it, feeling more revitalized.

He took in his surroundings, finding poffs of snow on the ground, one of which oddly held some money. He shoved the coins into his pocket and checked the last one. A head popped out of it, and seemed to sniff at him. Diddy smiled at them until they stood, revealing a FUCKING HUGE polar bear towering over him. The heart emerged once more, and Diddy groaned.

The polar bear smiled at him, and Diddy decided to check his stats as well.

BASH

ATK 7 DEF 8

THINKS FIGHTING IS PLAYING

Fighting is play? What?! The polar bear swung a giant wooden hammer at him, which he barely dodged. Diddy bounded back and jumped up towards Bash's neck, clinging to them. Bash realized then that the Tail meant no harm, and allowed him to stay. Diddy carefully began rubbing his hands in the polar bear's fur gently, then began scratching behind their ears with his fingers. Bash seemed to enjoy it. Eventually, the heart returned to Diddy, and Bash led him forward.

Diddy stopped when he noticed the sign at the edge of a village. 'Welcome to Snowdin Town', it read. He made sure his tail was still tucked in before making his way through the people standing around until he found another orb.

He looked around a bit, eventually finding a building with two doors, one with an 'SHOP' sign above it while the other had an 'INN' sign. He decided to head into the shop first, where he was greated by a monkey. They wore a purple shirt and headband, and had short dark hair and a kind smile.

"Hello!" they said. "Welcome to my shop! How can I assist you?"

Diddy looked at the items behind the clerk carefully. "May I ask what kind of fruit is in the fruit buns?"

"It's a tropical medley! A recipe of my own creation, in fact." The clerk took the pan down from the shelf. "How many can I get for you?

"Four please!" The clerk picked four off and wrapped them up for him, exchanging them for the money he handed her.

"Could I get you anything else?"

"No thank you. But, um..." Diddy hesitated. "You know of the two sisters that look like me, right?"

"Dixie and Tiny? Of course."

"Do you... know anything about them?"

The store clerk scrunched their face up. "Not much. They keep to themselves usually. Sometimes they get into it in the middle of town, and some people egg them on. Sometimes it's funny, and sometimes it's sad. It's odd. One day, they just showed up and asserted themselves into the town's daily life."

Diddy thanked the clerk and left. Silently, he headed next door to the inn, and approached the white cat with dark hair and glasses standing behind the desk. A pale blue kitten with pale pink hair stood next to them, peering out from where they could.

"Hello!" the older cat greeted. "Welcome to the Snowd Inn! How may I assist you today?"

"How much would it be for a room?" Diddy asked cautiously.

"Normally, it'd be about seventy-five coins, but we're running a special right now, so it's only fifty. Would you like a room?"

"Yes please." Diddy laid the coins on the counter and the clerk handed him a key.

"Have sleep well!"

And he did. He hadn't realized just how tired he had gotten. He'd been out before he knew it, and it seemed like only moments later, he was waking up. He laid in the bed for a bit, thinking back to the events of the last several however-long-he'd-been-there. He wondered briefly if anyone had noticed he was missing, but then again, did he really have anyone to even miss him to begin with?

Striking the thought from his mind, he gathered his things and exited the room. He handed the check-in clerk his key back, and they handed him some of his money back.

"You were not up there for very long. A few hours at most, one at best. It doesn't seem right to keep it all."

Diddy thanked the inn clerk and left, feeling rejuvenated after his nap.


	8. Chapter 7: Around and Around

Diddy kept going until he reached an area of the snowy cavern that kept getting foggier. It was growing thick, making it hard to see, and he had just thought of heading back into town to see if there was a way to cross easily when a voice spoke up.

"Tail."

"Tiny?" he responded, squinting. Several feet away, he could make out a faint figure. "Is that you over there?"

"Yes, and I'm afraid I've got something... very conflicting to tell you about," Tiny said. Her figure shrunk some, probably twiddling her fingers. "Is that OK?"

"Sure. I feel like I can trust you."

Tiny stiffened. Oh.

"W-well... It's odd. I know where my priorities have and should lay." Diddy steadily got closer until he could see her at least a little clearly. "And it's OK, for you to feel like you must hate me for that."

"I don't? Literally everyone I've met has been really nice?"

"But, even if the feeling of finding someone who loves banana pudding and puzzles as much as you is the most amazing feeling in the world, because let's face it I'm totally awesome, I'm afraid our friendship is just not meant to be. You must have a lot of them already, you know? F-friends, I mean." Tiny looked up to see him closer, the look on his face one of clear confusion.

"Tiny, what the fuck are you talking about?" Diddy asked.

"I couldn't ever imagine what all those people must burden you with," Tiny continued, as if not hearing him. "You poor, poor Tail. But not to worry, because I, the wonderous Tiny, will...!"

She paused, and Diddy's confusion only deepened as she turned away.

"Tiny?"

"I-I can't! I can't be your friend, Tail! It's simply not something meant to be. My desire to be a royal guard, and thus my duty to my king... It is necessary that I capture you!"

Diddy went silent, and the confusion disappeared from his face. Was she trying to make him not want to be friends? Because it honestly wasn't working, but at the same time, he felt bad. Was that really the best way to ensure she achieved her goal?

"Let me fight you," Diddy said calmly. "I just want this to be fair. I want to go home, back to the surface. I know it sound selfish, but... it's like you keep pointing out. I have a tail and you don't. Someone else will surely get me if you fail."

"You're on," Tiny nodded. She struck a pose then that Diddy could only think to describe as 'like a magical girl'. "Tactful! Talented! Thrifty!" She lowered the pose and maneuvered her head so she appeared to be glowering at him as one eye began to glow purple. "That... is Tiny, the newest Royal Guard and the greatest it has ever seen!"

The little soul emerged from Diddy as he smiled and checked her stats.

TINY

ATK 15 DEF 15

THE BEST ROYAL GUARDSMAN

She giggled at him, making him smile as he dodged the bananas she sent his way. He thought about his options... maybe flirting would work?

"Hey, sexy?" he grinned in a seductive tone.

"EH?!" Her face flushed. "S-so you finally reveal how you truly feel about me! Well, I can't let you just have at me like that!" She crossed her arms and turned her head. "I have very high standards!"

"I have, like, zero redeeming qualities." Tiny flushed harder.

"YOUR HUMILITY MEETS ALL MY STANDARDS!" She turned away, rubbing at her face in an attempt to make it stop turning red. "W-would it be OK to have, um... a date later? After I capture you maybe?"

"Sure, honey buns."

The redness returned and she sent double the attack after Diddy's giggling form. He braced himself, making sure her face calmed down before he made his next move.

"Blue isn't your color!" Diddy shouted from across the area, cupping his hands around his mouth so she could hear him.

"Aw, how that's so nice of you to try to make me feel bad!" The point obviously didn't get across, and he honestly felt some of his own HP dwindle a bit at her response.

They went back and forth like this for a good five minutes, before Diddy began to repeatedly pass his turn. When Tiny finally noticed, she became confused. The challenge had been his idea, had it not? What was going on?

"Tail, what's wrong? You won't fight me?" she asked.

"I am fighting you," he pointed out. "I'm killing you with kindness."

"All right, then! Let's see how you handle my blue attack!"

Diddy smiled, and quietly thanked Enguarde for challenging him earlier. Blue attacks were some of the easiest for him, seeing as how as long as he stood still he'd be fine. The blue items ran across him at a decently-set pace. At the end, he began to feel weird, and suddenly dropped to the snow. Tiny's giggles sent him into a high-alert mode, making him aware of the banana headed straight for his now-blue heart. When it was his turn, he looked at her, confused. She was pointing at him, grinning widely.

"Boop! You're blue now!"

Oh good. Now THAT song was stuck in his head.

The fight continued on for a rather long time, with Tiny's mulling over what she should wear and what she should cook for their date as well as her new future as a guardsman actively distracting him. The new attack came with an odd restriction: instead of free movement like his soul had been previously able to do, he was now limited to jumping. Once each jump had ended, the now-blue soul landed daintily near the bottom of his stomach. While listening to some of the shit Tiny was saying proved hard on his concentration, he did like what he was hearing, even if it meant death.

Although, he wasn't too sure art of her image would come about if she joined. Seemed like something that would only happen in the right circumstances.

She also seemed to babble on about what would happen to him if she won, calling him 'rare'. Whether she was referring to him having a tail amongst species and sub-species that apparently didn't or her words on 'his' feelings for 'her' from earlier, he couldn't be sure, but his heart did break a little.

"Dating will be a little hard too," she murmured. "After Kalypso collects you and sends you away."

"Maybe we can go on it before she gets me," he responded.

It felt like another hour had passed before Tiny unleashed a big attack on him. Once he somehow managed to survive it, she knelt to the ground, panting.

"That's... that was amazing!" she gaped. "I... I don't think I want to even fight you anymore. I don't think I can win."

"Cool!" Diddy winked, his soul returning. The fog cleared, and he could see how sad Tiny looked.

"I hope Kalypso won't be too disappointed in me. I don't want this to ruin my chances of joining the guard..."

"Ah, come on." He placed a hand on her shoulder. "If anything, the valiant effort you exhibited today, would help you more."

"Y-you think so?"

"I know so."

Her faced turned red once more.


	9. Chapter 8: Best Date Ever

**A/N: Damn, I took so long to upload this that Toby Fox ported Undertale to three different consoles and revealed a quasi-sequel.**

 **To be fair, that wasn't my intentions. Stuff happened, I got stuck a third of the way through the chapter, lost interest in Undertale... But thanks to Undertale the Musical and Deltarune, my inspiration is back!**

 **The most funny thing about my absence in regards to this story is that despite everything, I still drew Kongtale fanart every now and then on my deviantART. Sometimes I gave relevent information, sometimes I just wanted to be evil and was inspired. So the ideas came, they just... never translated into writing.**

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

The date with Tiny went well, if he would say so himself. A little weird, but in the end, he was placed into the friendzone himself rather than her. He didn't mind either way, but now it was time to continue on his journey.

After a little while of walking, Diddy came across a small corridor. In it was another of those small orb things, which he touched in case something happened. There were also two Kongs, one weird alligator-looking thing and another a small croc with an even smaller pink ponytail adorning their head. They looked excited about something. Also in the corridor was a stand of sorts, kind of like the ones he'd seen in the forest. Sleeping behind the counter was Dixie.

He tapped the counter, and she snapped awake.

"Huh? Oh!" she murmured upon seeing him. "Hey, kid! How did it go with my sis?"

"She tried to capture me but in the end couldn't do it," Diddy shrugged. "We had a date, too."

"And?"

"Friendzone."

"Ah. Well, she's a little young to be going on dates anyway."

"What are you doing here, by the way?" Diddy asked, putting his hands in his pockets. "Don't you work in the forest?"

"Hey, a girl can have two jobs!" Dixie said, stepping out from behind the stand. "You actually came at a good time. I'm about to head to the restaurant in town. Wanna come?"

A restaurant? Come to think of it, there was a decent-sized building in the middle of town that had a restaurant feel to it, and it would be pretty nice to have another meal. He'd eaten most of the food items he had on him, and who knew when the next supply stop would be?

"Yeah, sure! I'll go with you."

"Great!" Dixie then began to walk the opposite direction of Snowdin. "There's a shortcut this way. Come on!"

Some shortcut it turned out to be! Within the blink of an eye, they were indoors. The patrons of the joint included the other guards he had encountered on his way to town, as well as a couple of new faces, namely the strange creature lurking behind the counter cleaning a glass. They weren't like anything Diddy had ever seen, but he did faintly remember the name of the place being Tiki Tak as he had passed it. Something in his mind connected to a book he had read not long before his excursion to Mt. Fox about mythical beings. Maybe they were part of that race?

He hadn't realized he'd been standing there, looking like a dolt, until Dixie called out to him to sit down.

"Whatcha feelin' for, kid?" she asked, gesturing to the menu in front of them.

Diddy scanned it for a moment. Judging by half the menu being frozen dairy desserts, he could only guess this was an ice cream parlor, a guess that was cemented when he turned to ask Dixie for a recommendation only to find her squeezing an entire bottle of chocolate syrup into her mouth. The creature behind the counter watched her do this with an unamused, if slightly exasperated, expression.

"Um..." Diddy began, slightly intimidated by the display, and turned back to the menu. "I guess... a dish of ice cream? Um... strawberry... with some banana chips, if you have it, uh... s-sir?"

"That actually doesn't sound too bad!" Dixie turned to the being as if her display hadn't just happened, her pointer and middle fingers raised in a v-formation. "Tiki Tong, could we get a double order on that?"

The being, Tiki Tong, rolled their eyes and set about making the order. When he was done, he placed it in front of them and walked (...floated?) away to attend to other duties. Dixie picked up another bottle of chocolate syrup and held it to Diddy.

"Want some? The flavors mix well together," she said. He stared at the bottle.

"What... what'll you do if I say no?" he asked.

Dixie placed it down and shrugged, beginning to dig in. He followed her example, and they ate in silence for a few minutes until she spoke again.

"So... what do you think of my sister?" Diddy held his spoon in his mouth, pondering.

"She's an interesting one. She's pretty cool though."

"Of course she is! You'd be cool too if you wore her outfit! Literally. Matter of fact, I don't know how she doesn't freeze her rear off in it."

"Determination, probably."

"True. You've got to agree she tries real hard. You know how she's training to be a royal guardsman?"

"She mentioned something about it, yeah."

"Well, that began when one day she went to the house of the captain, Kalypso, begging to be a part of it. She closed the door on her right then and there, seeing as it was past midnight and all, but the next day she went out and Tiny was still there waiting. Kalypso took it upon herself there to train her for the part." Dixie chuckled to herself, and Diddy could only recall the feeble but whole-hearted attempts Tiny had made to hinder and capture him. These thoughts made him feel warm inside.

"A work in progress, obviously," he said.

"No kidding. By the way," she added, "there's something I've been meaning to ask you..."

The room went dark and quiet. The cold and delightful atmosphere of the ice cream parlor turned to an ambience of mystery, and Diddy felt a chill go up his spine at the sudden shift. He looked around, noting how time itself seemed to freeze for those around him, making them motionless. He turned back to Dixie, whose entire demeanor had changed. Instead of the jokester she had been since they'd first met, he was now met with someone who radiated the wrath intended to protect someone. her face was hidden in shadows, and her smile was gone. He gulped.

"Have you ever heard of a talking plant?" she asked, her tone even and cold. Diddy's mind immediately flashed to DK.

"Er... yeah, actually," he stammered.

"So... you probably know all about them... The mirror plant. They're everywhere in Waterfall. They'll record one of the last images that they saw, and if you're lucky, even a voice." Her hands clenched into fists on the counter. "Tiny told me something very interesting yesterday. Sometimes, we no one else is around, a mirror plant will appear and show her things. it'll give her advice, flatter her, tell her to never give up... predict things."

"That's..." Diddy felt his suspicions were correct on who this was, "very weird. Can't be too harmful, though... right?"

"Someone's got to be using them to trick her." She finally turned to him, her smile returning. "Keep your guard up, all right, kid? Thank you."

And like that, everything had gone back to normal. No one around them seemed none the wiser to what had just transpired, let alone intrigued over what they were whispering about. Dixie stood up and stretched.

"Yikes, can't believe I've been gone that long. Hey, listen, I don't really have any cash on me right now. Mind footing the bill?"

"Er..."

"Hey, thanks, kid! Don't worry, it's only 10,000 coins." Diddy made a choked noise and Dixie laughed to herself. "I'm joking, kid. Tiki Tong, put it on my tab!"

"Pay your fucking tab next time, Dixie," Tiki Tong said, his voice ethereal.

"You can talk?!" Diddy said, surprised.


End file.
